Maybe it’s just my healthy number of neuroses, but it seems like I’m constantly keeping my body’s routines at the back of my mind lately. It’s some sort of over-compensation for my 23 years of ignoring them. Or at least, not appreciating them. There’s a little cartographer that now maps out my body’s reactions. I jump on the treadmill, and it reminds me that my muscle fibers are twitching, that my mitochondria are cranking up their speed, and that my glucose stores are being dumped into my bloodstream. I go for a swim, get out, and wonder if I’m going to pass out from the vasodilation and gravity shift. I wake up thirsty and think of the signals that set it in motion. I get my butt pinched at a club, and I try to recall which nerve is sending the action potential (L5?). I used to annoy the hell out of my friends by talking about alcohol dehydrogenase when we’d drink, but this is a couple steps more ridiculous.

I imagine this could be beneficial, in some sort of bio-feedback or visualization sense. I visualize my adipocytes (fat cells) hearing the call of glucagon and emptying themselves from my body. Or I do some weightlifting, and see my muscles sucking up the protein I give it post-workout. Okay, okay, I’m skeptical too, but it can’t hurt, right? Might as well put some sort of positive use to all this knowledge that I’m gaining that I can’t yet apply, right?

And no, I’m not about to see how much longer my bladder’s transitional epithelium can last with the power of the mind. I’d prefer not to make a puddle.

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