* Dear Financial Aid and Student Accounts Offices: talk to each other . It’d be nice if I didn’t have to waste my time going across campus, writing you a check for $97.60, so that I can then register for classes, which then causes my loan disbursement check to be sent to me, which is worth a great deal more than $97.60. Don’t take this as an elitist “I’m above this” thing. It’s not. It’s a “this is really stupid” thing, especially during the week before finals.

* Dear cold and sore throat: Thanks for greeting me this morning. I’m kind of busy right now, so if you wouldn’t mind, cut it out. No. Seriously.

* Dear lower limb: I really, really, really hate you. You piss me off.

* Dear Gateway: Thank you for bowing to my bitch fest at your stores over the Thanksgiving break. The battery you put with this computer is really sub par, but you’re sending me a better one. Thank you.

* Dear readers: Please pray for me. I may actually need it this time.

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