A quick jaunt through the little catch phrases that are my life right now (thank you, First Aid). And hey, you might learn a thing or two:

• Bladder Cancer (Transitional Cell Carcinoma) in your Pee SAC: caused by Phenacetin, Smoking, Schistosomiasis (thanks Kat), Aniline Dyes, and Cyclophosphamide. Pee Sac is just such a great way to refer to your bladder. Also reminds me of Forat from Ali G referring to the scrotum as the “testes satchel.”
• Citric Acid Cycle. Cindy Is Kinky So She Fornicates More Often. Citrate, Isocitrate, alphaKetoglutarate, SuccinylCoA, Succinate, Fumarate, Malate, Oxaloacetate. Replace “Fornicates” with something else for added fun.
• Urea Cycle. Ordinarily, Careless Crappers Are Also Frivolous About Urination. Ornithine, Carbamoyl phosphate, Citrulline, Aspartate, Arginosuccinate, Fumarate, Arginine, Urea.
• Burkitt’s Lymphoma. BurC-Myc’s. (C-myc oncogene, 8:14 translocation.)
• Complications of Lung Cancer: SPHERE. Superior Vena Cava Syndrome, Pancoast’s Tumor, Horner’s Syndrome, Endocrine/paraneoplastic, Recurrent Laryngeal Nerve Palsy, Effusions (pleural, pulmonary).
• SLE-like syndrome caused by drugs: It’s not HIPP to have lupus. anti-Histone antibody, Hydralazine (vasodilator), INH (TB), Procainamide (Ia anti-arrhythmic), Phenytoin (anti-epileptic).
• Hypercalcemia is a MISHAP! Malignancy, Intox of Vitamin D, Sarcoidosis, Hyperparathyroidism, Alkali Syndrome, Paget’s Disease of Bone!
• Dilated/Congestive Cardiomyopathy Causes: ABCD. Alcohol, wet Beriberi, Coxsackie, Cocaine, Chagas’s, Doxorubicin.
• INH: Injures neurons and hepatocytes. Prevent neuron damage by giving Vitamin B6.
• Vincristine and vinblastine: prevent formation of microtubules, anti-cancer drugs. VinCristine Crushes Neurons, and VinBlastine Blasts Bone Marrow.
• Causes of Fibronous Pericarditis: UReMIa. Uremia, Rheumatic Fever, Myocardial Infarction.
• Kawasaki’s Disease, a vasculitis: Kids, Koronaries, Konjunctivitis, Krusty Lips, Strawberry Tongue.
• Buerger’s Disease, a vasculitis: Try the world RENOWNED Smokey Burger! (Buerger’s has Reynaud’s phenomenon, plus gangrene, in smokers.)
• Post-Strep Glomerulonephritis: Sub-Epi (STREPI) humps.

And hundreds more where that came from. But I’ll stop boring you now.

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