You don’t know how frustrating and condescending it is when you’re doing your best to speak your patient’s native language as best you can (and not doing half bad given that you haven’t really practiced in a couple months), and your patient’s mother and grandmother start laughing and making fun of the way you pronounced a word. Yes, I had my stethoscope on, ladies, but it ain’t exactly soundproof. And I can understand much better than I can conjugate.

I’m as obviously gringo as they come, but it’s obvious that I’m trying my best, and I’m making an effort. I don’t care if I’m a medical student or your doctor or the guy who cleans your toilet; it’s rude, flat out.

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I’m all for doctors and medicine trying to be as objective as possible, but it’s just so damn cute when doctors think they actually are objective. As if we don’t bring our own values and assumptions to the table. I’m doing well-child checkups this week at a county health clinic. I walk in, see a 9 month old baby, a 40-something year-old woman, and a 16 year-old girl, and immediately turn to introduce myself to the 40-something year-old woman, because clearly she’s the mother of this child; 16 year-olds don’t have babies!

I cringe every time I recall this story.

Next is the number of superstitions we go through as physicians (luck and superstition are clearly objective, too). For example, I will never, ever mention how a day or night of call is going smoothly, or how quiet the pager has been, or how empty the floor is. I will think it, and consider bringing it up for casual conversation, but it stops there; for if I mention anything to that effect, I will jinx the team and we’ll magically have 20 new admissions that night. I know this is totally crazy, but I totally, 100% abide by this. I don’t know that I totally believe it, but I’d much rather keep my mouth shut and hopefully have fewer admissions.

And it’s only medical things that I’m superstitious of, which makes it even more ridiculous–in the medical world, where we base everything on risk, benefit, and predictions from data and randomized, double-blind controlled trials, I truly act in a certain way, hoping my behavior will somehow influence the outcome.

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After averting a minor freak-out personal crisis over the weekend, I’m just waaay too busy to blog everything I want to. Some medical highlights:

Grand Rounds 227 is up, with lots of pictures; my favorite:

Please listen to this story about a man’s audio recordings of his life after he found out he had a brain tumor. We forget that this is what happens outside the hospital and clinic doors, when we’re expecting our patients to be adherent and attentive and efficient.

91% of small biz in California believes health care is the #1 concern. You don’t get poll data like that often.

The story of two men with cancer.

How are non-English speakers supposed to figure out Medicare Part D?

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