Or, better titled: Why You Should Be Glad You Have Group Health Insurance, and Why Private Health Insurance Has Become A Joke

Or, even better: You May Be Denied Health Insurance At Any Cost If You’ve Had Zits or Heartburn (No, Seriously)

I’m compiling two stories about California HMOs from LA Times’s Lisa Girion, who reports on medical conditions that can make you uninsurable, common drugs you take that can make you uninsurable, and jobs you have that can make you uninsurable. Uninsurable = no matter how much you’re willing to pay them, they won’t agree to provide health insurance for you. (This applies to individuals trying to get health coverage–generally larger groups can bargain together to get insurance, but if you’re by yourself, good luck.)

(Talk about stacking the decks.) If private insurers get to setup the playing field this way, can I request that my professional sports team play only against high school students? I’d also like to make sure that the people playing poker with me only get crappy cards. Thanks.

Odds are that you or someone in your immediate family has at least one of these. I can check off several of these drugs, and at least two of the illnesses.

Medical illnesses:

• AIDS
• allergies
• arthritis
• asthma
• attention deficit disorder
• autism
• bed-wetting
• breast implants
• cancer
• cerebral palsy
• chronic bronchitis
• chronic fatigue syndrome
• chronic sinusitis
• cirrhosis
• cystitis
• diabetes
• ear infections
• epilepsy
• gender reassignment
• heart disease
• hemochromatosis
• hepatitis
• herpes
• high blood pressure
• impotence
• infertility
• irritable bowel syndrome
• joint sprain
• kidney infections
• lupus
• mild depression
• muscular dystrophy
• migraines
• miscarriage
• pregnancy
• “expectant fatherhood,” planned adoption
• psoriasis
• recurrent tonsillitis
• renal failure
• ringworm
• severe mental disorders
• sleep apnea
• stroke
• ulcers
• varicose veins

Drugs (and illnesses they treat):

• Accutane (acne)
• Allegra (allergies)
• Celebrex (arthritis)
• Celexa (depression)
• Concerta (attention deficit)
• Famvir (herpes)
• Imdur (angina)
• Imitrex (headaches, migraines)
• Lamisil (fungal infections)
• Parolodel (menstrual disorders)
• Prozac (depression)
• Ritalin (attention deficit)
• Tagamet (heartburn, ulcers)
• Tapazole (hyperthyroid)
• Topamax (epilepsy, migraines)

Jobs:

• Air traffic control
• Building, moving
• Chemical/rubber manufacturing
• Circus or carnival work
• Concrete or asphalt work
• Crop dusting
• Firefighting
• Furniture and fixtures manufacturing
• Lumber work, including wood chopping, timber cutting and working in a sawmill
• Migrant labor
• Oil well or refinery work
• Police work
• Roofing
• Sandblasting
• Sports, semi-pro or professional
• Stockyard work, with or without butchering
• Stables, all employees
• Stunt work
• Telecom installation
• Transportation and aviation
• Tree climbing
• Tunnel work
• War reporting
• Window work at heights exceeding three stories

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