Homage to the guilty pleasure Overheard in New York :

• Drunk Crotchety Man, slurred speech: You want to take these off of me! These restraints are doing more harm than good! You want to take these off me immediately, and by immediately, I mean 20 minutes ago, if not sooner!
• Nurse: Do you have a favorite spot for blood draws?
  Cute Elderly Woman: Yes, but it isn’t on me!
• Snarky Nurse: What were you drinkin’ tonight?
  Waaay Drunk Man That The Whole ER Knows By Name, slurred speech: Vodka!
  SN: Oh yeah, what kind?
  WDMTTWERKBN: Stolgate!
  SN: Oh yeah, never heard of that kind.
  WDMTTWERKBN: It’s 2 dollars!
  SN, laughing: Oh yeah? That must be why. I’m surprised, I had you pegged as a Grey Goose kinda guy.
• Me: So what brings you to the ER tonight?
  Elderly Gentleman With Glasses Reading Investment Book: Pissin’ blood!
• Me: Do you do any drugs?
  Same Elderly Gentleman With Glasses Reading Investment Book: Heroin, Speed, Meth, hell, I’m high on speed right now!

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