I figure at least first year you’re allowed to completely embrace your new found medical edification and knowledge, even on Halloween. Or maybe especially on Halloween.

I wasn’t alone. At our med school party, we had: the greater and lesser sacs, a megakaryocyte (complete with plates all over her), an ectopic pregnancy, and, of course, I went as Dermatome Man ( what’s a dermatome? ). Warning: image may frighten and traumatize small children. And yes, we followed Netter to get it right.

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Seeing as though two out of three of my anatomy lecturers are British, I swear I’m going to run into pronunciation problems. It’s not capillary, it’s caPILLary; it’s not trachea, it’s traCHEA. UmbilICUS, not umbilicus, too.

I’m kind of scared I’m going to break into a British accent every time I try discussing anatomy with someone.

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I would just like to state for the record that medical school provides an insane number of terms that would make great names for bands. Dave Barry would be proud. I find it works best if you imagine a British punk singer on stage, shouting out, “Hello Chicago, we are [insert band name here]!” A partial list:

* Infundibulum
* Zona Pellucida
* The Acromions
* Aponeurosis
* Secondary Granules
* Phrenic
* Dynein
* Neural Crest

Feel free to add your own.

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As a grad student, you’re really in a worse position financially than you were even as an undergrad. At least you’re still considered a fledgling. Your parents support you, nurture you, even send the occasional care package every now and then. But then you start some sort of graduate work, and, even though your financial aid claims that you’re a dependent, you’re not. You’re pretty much on your own, digging yourself deeper and deeper into debt every day. Sure, I could ask my parents for support if I needed to, but I’m getting the feeling that I’m old enough to be completely responsible for myself.

I’m basically just alluding to the fact that you could, theoretically, get me to do almost anything (I emphacize the word almost ) for anything free. Free food, free office supplies, highlighters. You name it, I’ll probably do it. I’m the king of the psych study. The master of the free lunch. And, it’s in this vein that I note the fusion of the best of both worlds. Free alcohol . From the med school. Since the occasion comes along only twice a year, I tend to embibe. A little too much. And thus, I present my official “2003 Stanford Medical School Stethescope Ceremony” picture featuring yours truly and the Dean, Dr. Phil Pizzo. I normally don’t smile that wide.

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Y’know, they really ought to put a stop to this ( Quicktime , 360k).

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From the third of the Molecular Bio Professor Triumvirate, Mark Krasnow :

A patient comes in to see his doctor, and presents with a frog coming out of his forehead. He sits down and, astonished, the doctor asks, “How’d that happen?” The guy shrugs and says, “I don’t know doc, but it all started with a wart on my ass!”

Moral of the story: don’t assume anything about patients or their problems, you can’t always look at problems from one perspective, and, uh, get those warts checked out by a dermatologist.

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